Writing this one while waiting for a dentist appointment... Im pretty early for the appointment, my ADHD or whatever it is that plagues my attention span makes me very prone to missing important things, so whenever i have them i tend to have to arrive especially early. Oh well. Its given me a moment to type this out, i guess. Yes, i am writing from my phone! I dont drag my laptop out to things like this, believe it or not.
So whats been going on? Maybe 2 or 3 update days missed?
Well, i tend to miss things like this. Honestly, i really want to work on my ability to document things, and writing a blog is a part of that, alongside other things. I spend most of my time gaming, and i dont see that changing much down the line. Thats fine, but i also have this fear of looking back about 10 years from now and thinking '... What the hell did i do with my time?'
Being able to document the things i enjoy allow me to look back and be like 'Yeah, i did this! That was so much fun!'... Rather than just trusting myself to remember that i spent my time doing things i enjoy. Because I know myself, and i know how much that I hate myself, and I know in that amount of time that if i havent discovered a way to love myself, I wont feel very good.
Also, me and luna do some crazy things when we are gaming, and always piss ourselves laughing or make some kind of weird challenge for us to overcome. Its fun, and i wanna share that fun with other people! I feel like people are taking video games a little too seriously these days, and I would love to help people remember how to love them and enjoy them.
As a closing note to those thoughts, i also want to learn to draw or at LEAST commission more art of me and luna just... Chilling and having a good time. Were not the type of people who take photos, even when you put all the dysphoria, self hate, etc etc to one side - we are just not really like that. This doesnt mean we dont wanna remember shit though - we just typically do it with our fursonas. Getting commissions of our daily life stuff is our version of taking photos together. So uh... Yeah. Thats something i wanna do.
So yeah. Sorry for missing update day for a few weeks. I feel bad about it. I hope you can forgive me. I wasnt staying cool, and nor was I like a swimming pool.
Oooooh shall we talk about....... Sex????
I found a good webcomic recently. While chasing my dream to draw more, i was looking for references for typhlosion (or bakufun, its japanese name) because i wanted to draw my fursona getting railed by one. I am a very simple girl. However, if theres something ive learnt about myself recently, its that narrative, or at least a little dialogue, really gets me going. So when I saw a thumbnail of a comic panel featuring a typhlosion slobbing on the sofa, cheeto dust smeared around his mouth and a shot of cum sort of baked into the wall behind him... I sort of had to click.
The webcomic is called Friction, and is drawn and written by Starzaiic. Ill link to the first page a little later. The premise is that a Pokemon Ranger (not sure of this is the term they would use to describe the character) called Azoth. They are a league trainer, but also seems to run some sort of pokemon rehabilitation center, where he helps abandoned Pokémon find the best versions of themselves. One of his Pokemon, a Typhlosion named Smokey, lost his voice while he was a Quilava, and couldnt express himself in a world where all Pokemon seem to be able to talk English. Azoth is well known for 'helping his Pokemon blow off steam', another phrase that just... Gets me. Blow off steam, like it's their right to be able to stuff their dick inside someone and bust a nut... Mmmph. Anyway...
Smokey is annoyed that Azoth has never had sex with him, and is infatuated with Azoth. He thinks Azoth is being a tease, and that he should just 'bend over for him without having to ask'. It was around this point that I had my fingers jammed in my clit! Smokey is such a slob who talks to people like shit (in his head - the reader can hear his thoughts), drinks booze and eats chips and pizza and generally just has his own way. Azoth comes home one day with another Typhlosion, and Smokey feels threatened by it; thats the premise, anyway. I wont spoil much more - you should go and give it a read! But when I saw him angrily fuck another Pokemon just because he wanted to? Fuck.
TL;DR, i have a crush on a fictional character.
Click here for FRICTION, Page 1 (FurAffinity link)
Its nice to be feeling horny - im still having issues acting on it IRL, I also have awful stomach issues that can easily cramp my sex drive, alongside all the negative feelings of not being enough, feeling ugly, ashamed of myself, etc... But i actually want to sort those things out for once! Im going to try doing all the IBS things that people say absolutely definitely work (i have my doubts) and also make sure my hormones are high enough. Im struggling to do anything at the moment, but i want to make those things a priority. So... We'll see how that goes.
Well, i think thats all I have energy to talk about right now? If you wanna hear more from me I have been streaming a little bit more and have been trimming my vods down to just me talking using a useful program called 'Recut', so i will add the most recent one yo the bottom of this blog post. Have a watch! You might enjoy it. Maybe you wont! Ill probably be high in said video, so you might get a kick out of that. I might also reach out to the author of Friction and ask if they would like me to translate the comic to Japanese. Ive made progress there! But for now, I think this post is long enough, so, please take care of yourself and thank you so much for reading. Hopefully next update day youll hear from me without having to wait multiple weeks, but until then...
Stay cool, like a swimming pool♥
