It's update day!
Yeah, this is the first.. or I guess, second update day? I mean last week had an update day but that was like. The first one. The announcement of update day. So I dunno if it really counted as a real update day. but this? This is a fully scheduled update day. It's happening now. So much so that I'm bothering to add in my punctuation. I don't always do that, because I cant be bothered, and everyone already knows what I mean anyway.
Honestly, I don't know what to write here, but I want to put some words down anyway. I need to get used to the idea of speaking to myself. Or just in general!
I've been quite down this past week. It's nothing more than normal. Stuff just sucks. Everything sucks. Trying to understand what my place or role is in this increasingly hostile world is tough. Wanting to express myself but having to constantly break down barriers I put up myself each and every time I attempt to do so... Sucks. It's pretty tiring.
This week I've done pretty poorly at trying to keep the bad (or simply just unneccessary) thoughts at bay. Thoughts about how worthless I am, how I have nothing to offer, how people typically tend to dislike me, or even be intimidated by me. And I will often try and find moments in my life where I might have been a bad person to tell myself that I deserve the nasty things my own head says about me. To be honest, it's not something I really want to write about, the inside of my own head has been an enemy of mine for time immemorial. I just had to google that, it basically just means since the begininng of time. A greek word, I think it said? I've already forgotten.
On the note of other languages, I have been putting zero effort into learning Japanese these past few weeks. I've made no progress and have hardly solidified the things I should currently be learning. That's also been getting me down, as I was making good progress. Lost my motivation as always I guess? I don't know what to do about it, other than just continue playing games in japanese and hope I force myself to learn.
That's all I wanna say about my mental state. I'll elaborate more in another update sometime, because I really think I should. Organizing my thoughts will help me fight them better, I think. Perhaps they will be less crushing.
Well this has been a very depressing post, and I didn't intend it to be, honestly. Typically when I do something like this I immeditately delete it and maybe pat myself on the back for speaking to myself about it, but this time around I will just go ahead and upload it.
But, I want to end this on a high note! So I will say a nice thing about myself!
Um...
My fursona has nice tits? See, look, here they are!
Anyway, thanks for reading, I guess. I'll try and actually do something for next update day, so I have something to write about. Maybe I'll work on my Sonic Robo Blast 2 level, or... I'll stream more, and talk about some stuff from doing that? Maybe add some more pictures? I'm new to blogging, but I wanna make these pages a little bit more interesting. So anyway. Stay cool, like a swimming pool ♥
